We all have cycles when we are are called to meet life’s challenges with circumstances we have not faced before. 

Through the uncertainty, one thing is clear. The situation needs to be resolved because the new conditions are intolerable.

This is Part 1 of a 2 article series. It will briefly illustrate my experience with a life challenging situation from decades ago. 

It wasn’t easy, but through it all, I found ways to follow the intelligence of my heart. I was guided to realize what I genuinely thought, felt and wanted to do. This led to creating a new way of life that I had not yet imagined.

During my undergraduate days at U.Conn., I was stuck neck-deep in confusion and inertia. Getting a college education and degree was expected. I even had the support of a full football scholarship and captained the wrestling team. 

This was supposed to be the time of my life. But I felt isolated. Many of the courses were boring and seemed irrelevant. 

This was decades ago and the university support system was still developing. I didn’t know where to reach out for help to figure out why I was there and what I wanted to do with my life.

My wandering through those precious years continued and I barely earned the required 1.80+ grade average. 

When I graduated, I felt betrayed by our culture and perhaps by everyone. I had done all of the things I was told for being successful, such as securing my diploma and scoring lots of touchdowns. 

But now I was on my own. There was no longer the safety-net of being a full time student with a scholarship. I still had the challenge of figuring out what was important to me and what I wanted to do with my life. 

I also needed a job in meaningful work that provided enough income. Otherwise my life and work would continue to be commanded by other’s expectations.

Looking back, I can see this was a wake-up call and it got my full attention. The risk and consequences of not resolving this was in my face.

Feeling ill prepared, I completed some simple career assessments and counseling. I was guided to find something working with people. 

My uncle was a successful salesman who got me a job with his company. I enjoyed relating with people but the selling part was difficult for me. 

So I became friends with the local university library. I began researching areas of possible job interest. This led to further research including interviews with people in those professions. 

Throughout I would ask myself questions like: how could this be a good fit for me/not a good fit? I would notice my felt-sense in response. In essence I was asking my heart’s intelligence: what was true for me - what I genuinely thought, felt and wanted to do.

NOTE earlier article, Unleashing Intuition into Critical Thinking, May 17, and followup article Embodying an Unwavering Heart, August 2022.

Eventually I was drawn to community counseling with teens and their families. It was a labor of love. Realizing I loved helping people and was actually capable, I became on-fire about finding a program to be trained as a psychotherapist. 

But my undergraduate grades prevented my acceptance into any graduate school program. I also knew from my grammar school experience I was not a good student. 

Quick research directed me to take several part-time, graduate school courses to demonstrate the ability to do the work. 

Over 2 semesters I completed 4 courses. I loved the learning in areas that mattered to me, while completing several extra credit assignments. Got all A’s. Realized I’m not just a dumb athlete. 

Two of my professors wrote letters of recommendation and I was accepted at Aldelphi University. Oh, and I was awarded an academic scholarship. I still smile about this. All of it was a life-changing experience.

Fast forward, I then served as a licensed psychotherapist for 2 decades and now as a Trusted Advisor for community and business leaders for another 2 decades. And I still enjoy watching football games (smiles).

3 factors guiding me through this life challenge.  

1. I had been stuck neck-deep in blindly following expectations for several years, without knowing what was really important to me.

2. I then got shocked by a needed wake-up call. Upon completing undergraduate studies, I realized I had 2 choices: either continue wandering aimlessly in some uninspired but expected work and lifestyle, or learn to follow my heart to genuinely realize what I thought, felt and wanted to do.  

3. I got on-fire and became inspired to do whatever was necessary to resolve this life challenge. This positioned me to do what had seemed impossible. I then completed the required graduate school training for transitioning into what I had committed to creating.

Part 2 of this 2 article series will illustrate the life challenge of facing my divorce several years ago, and life after it. As a more recent situation, I’ll share more detail about the challenges, along with the ways I called upon and followed my heart’s guidance. It became a transformative experience which led to my now living and working in ways I had not yet imagined.

ACTION STEPS FOR YOU NOW 

1. What about this article speaks with you?

2. What life challenge are you now facing that needs to change because the conditions are intolerable?

3. Use this article as a final wake-up call to DECIDE IT IS TIME to generate the needed change.

4. Who will you reach out to for support, personal and or professional, for taking the steps to resolve your challenge? Schedule it! Do it!

FORTHCOMING ARTICLES

. The Challenge with Change .. The way Through It

. Follow Your Heart .. Through Life’s Challenges, Part 2

. Piercing Through Fear

. Mindfulness for the Samurai Leader

. Embodying an Unwavering Heart. 

. Reigniting Your Passion and Flow

. Reclaiming Personal Power

SCHEDULE Talk Time with Otan

otan@otanpatrickford.com 1.973.229.7174 https://www.otanpatrickford.com

SUBSCRIBE to my new series of weekly articles on Substack. otanpatrickford.substack.com.

Author via amazon.com

Unwavering Heart: 5 Keys to Living with Fierce Authenticity, 2014

Unwavering Heart: 5 Keys to Becoming your Destiny, 2017