TRUST: understanding it, accessing it, improving it.

Trust. What is it? We may rarely think about it. Yet it provides the cornerstone through which we perceive, have relationships, and generate the activity to create what is important to us.

It shapes how we see and navigate through the world. When restricted, and it usually is in some way, it also restricts our empowerment for fully showing up in whatever we are doing.

It is essential to understand the nature of trust. This improves our ability to access and improve it. While this can seem elusive, there are fundamentals that can guide us.

Keeping this simple, let's look at 3 levels of trust: life trust, conditional trust, and shared trust.

Life Trust fortifies our personal foundation and in principle is unconditional. It is always there. It’s about actually experiencing being alive and the ways life is there to guide and support us. So along the seeming endless challenges, this is something we do our best to keep alive inside ourselves. Fortunately it’s not required to do this perfectly.

Conditional Trust flows or staggers though our every day and is conditional. It is based on relationship between ourself and others. We learn it relies on integrity, intentions & motivations, expectations, capabilities, and effectiveness or results. All of these factors are brought to life through our level of awareness. Realizing these factors enables us to use them, for ourselves and others, to be operating at our brightest and best.

Shared Trust is a deepening of conditional trust. It is based on shared commitment which enables restoring, as well as generating, greater trust in ourselves and what we are doing. It relies on developing the capacity to relax into basic trust, personally and together. This encourages new potentials to emerge which can make all the difference in something.

NOTE: We all have varying levels of trust. When motivated by the challenges of life, we can be inspired to access and improve any and all of it.

Continuing to keep this simple, let’s reflect on each of these 3 areas of trust for insight you can apply to make a difference in your personal and work life.

Exploring Life Trust.

In general, what are the ways you have what you need so you can relax and show up for creating and enjoying what is important to you? Be with this for a moment. Think about it. Feel into it. Some of it will be obvious but some will be subtle. It's all worth noting and remembering.

What is missing? Take a moment for this too. Do you feel safe and protected? Do you have enough space and resources? Do you need more support, inspiration, challenge, or enjoyment? What else might be missing?

What can you do to provide these things in a self-supportive way? This is a process to keep in front of you during the next week so your insights and inspirations can surface. Then apply the insights one step at a time with a plan, structure and supports.

Exploring Conditional Trust.

This trust is about relationship so let’s look at a relationship you care about, personal or work.

Look at the degree of trust that currently exists. What allows you to trust this person, and what allows them to trust you?

In the ways you may not fully trust the other person, and they not fully trust you, consider the following qualities for each of you: how might there be a different vision of the relationship, a lack of integrity, unclear or misalignment of expectations, a difference in intentions or motivations, insufficient or under utilized capacity, or ineffectiveness and poor results.

As you determine what may be restricting the trust, you have information for accessing ways to restore and improve it. This is not to be rushed. Each of you likely have some fixed perspectives and beliefs about, along with patterns of interacting with, each other.

Here are some further considerations. Do you trust yourself and the other person enough to suggest communicating directly about your concerns, insights and hopes? If not, would it be useful to have a personal or professional sounding board for generating understanding and strategy about what change may be possible, and ways to actually create it. What are your motivations for creating the change and how can you understand what their's would be too? What would be the biggest obstacle to any of this? What could be the ROI or value for both for you? What would be the most effective series of strategies, as well as supports, for helping each of you in moving forward.

Exploring Shared Trust.

Shared trust develops from a relationship based on commitment and being with and for each other. It creates the focus and alignment to more fully show up for the dynamics and process of the relationship. This is not blind trust which hopes for no breakdowns. It includes the willingness to face and resolve whatever happens.

Let’s look at a relationship where you experience some, or a high, level of shared trust.

What are the relationship dynamics that have created the foundation for it. Be with this step for a moment. Some of it will seem obvious yet some of it may be more subtle.

What is the purpose that anchors the commitment you share?

Describe the motivations for each of you.

What do you both do for keeping the relationship alive and moving forward?

What breakdowns have happened. Describe the challenges it presented. How did each of you stay in the game and create solutions?

Describe the feeling tone of this shared trust.

How is any of this similar yet different from conditional trust?

What is the most important factor that sustains this relationship?

Describe the new potentials that emerge for each and both of you, and the difference it created.

What are the shared benefits that might not otherwise be there?

NOTE: The empowerment of shared purpose and commitment, for each other and what is possible, changes everything.

Optimize trust in your life.

1) Choose a relationship in which you want to optimize trust.

2) What is the current level of trust?

3) What is your motivation for improving it?

4) Schedule a time this week to review this article and develop your vision and plan.

5) Implement your plan, one step at a time.

NEXT WEEK’S ARTICLE: From Doing Time into Living Your Higher Vision

otan@otanpatrickford.com 1.973.229.7174 https://www.otanpatrickford.com

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