Musing: Leaders Need Support Too
I meet weekly with a group of colleagues. We are all in leadership roles of helping people.
This is our time for support. It’s a place of sharing and discovery. We practice variations of mindfulness.
Sometimes, as happened recently, someone shares a personal situation with which they are struggling.
His communication was raw and intense.
We offered support within the scope of our group process.
At one point we realized his situation stirred deep personal response within many of us. Even though we were in process of supporting one of our colleagues, we realized we also needed and wanted support in processing what was shared.
Our group format allowed us to creatively respond to the needs of what was happening. So in the moment we reorganized the group process into zoom breakout rooms for 4 participants in each room.
We then processed our experience.
Personally, I realized relevant insights and began to feel satisfied. Then one of our colleagues asked what I was feeling. I had been focusing on assessing and understanding what I was experiencing which had been helpful. But I hadn’t considered my feelings.
I needed his question to refocus more deeply. It generated a spontaneous deep breath. It caused me to become more still and feel into my experience.
I feel safe with my colleagues . While sensing into my feelings I felt vulnerable. Yet as I shared, it also felt refreshing.
Sharing back and forth guided us more deeply in our personal process. It was powerful to genuinely express and to be acknowledged.
We meet weekly and I am often amazed at how the support process is inspired through relationships that are with and for each other.
As the meeting concluded, we noted that while supporting our colleague with his presenting situation, we were also able to restructure our group process in a way that offered support to all of us. We appreciated the reminder that we can get so fixed on doing the work that we can forget to create the time to address our own needs.
During the final moments of our meeting, I felt a deep sense of shared support. I trusted that it is always accessible in some way. We only need to realize it. And then to show up for it.
Followup questions for you.
In your current situation, what challenges have you stressed and ineffective?
Do you have personal and work support systems that give what you need?
Can you envision participating in a support group based on alignment and trust?
Who in your current inner circle will you reach out to talk about the ways support can be generated for both, or all, of you? Schedule it for this week. Then be sure to do it.
Reaching out for support may not be easy. But it is waiting for you.
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Unwavering Heart: 5 Keys to Living with Fierce Authenticity, 2014
Unwavering Heart: 5 Keys to Becoming your Destiny, 2017
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